2:36 AM

Drinking Jokes

Drinking Problem Solver

Symptom Fault Action Required Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear. Glass empty. Find someone who will buy you another beer. Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet. Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face. Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique. Feet cold and wet. Glass being held at incorrect angle. Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling. Feet warm and wet. Improper bladder control. Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while complain to the owner about its lack of house training and demand a beer as compensation. Floor blurred. You are looking through bottom of empty glass. Find someone who will buy you another beer. Floor swaying. Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey game in progress. Insert broom handle down back of jacket. Floor moving. You are being carried out. Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not, complain loudly that you are being kidnapped. Opposite wall covered with ceiling tiles and florescent light strip across it You have fallen over backward. If your glass is full and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to help you get up, lash yourself to bar. Everything has gone dim, mouth full of cigarette butts. You have fallen forward. See above. Everything has gone dark. The Bar is closing. Panic. Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. Cover mouth. You awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet. You cannot see your bedroom. You have spent the night in the gutter. Check your watch to see if bars are open yet. If not, treat yourself to a lie-in

Source : http://www.rupissed.com/jokes.html

Busted

TOPLOADER - Dancing in The Moonlight

This song is currently playing in my CD player. Music from the motion picture "A Walk To Remember".

We get it on most every night

When that moon is big and bright

It's a supernatural delight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Everybody here is out of sight

They don't bark and they don't bite

They keep things loose they keep it tight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight

Everybody's feeling warm and bright

It's such a fine and natural sight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

We like our fun and we never fight

You can't dance and stay uptight

It's a supernatural delight

Everybody was dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight

Everybody's feeling warm and bright

It's such a fine and natural sight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

We get it on most every night

And when that moon is big and bright

It's a supernatural delight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Dancing in the moonlight

Everybody's feeling warm and bright

It's such a fine and natural sight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight

Of Rubber Hose & Great White Shark

A few days back, I felt something wrong with the Iswara that I am currently driving. Even though I've already stepping hard on the pedal, the car wouldn't accelerate. The little power that it has is not good enough to sustain 110km/hr on highway. I thought never mind, it might be because of the RON97 fuel I pumped in the day before.

Wednesday was a terrible day. The rubber hose connecting the car radiator and the engine bursted and water can be seen spraying out from the leakage. We were trapped in highway nearby Tapah.

This "lil Napoleon" is the biggest trouble-maker

The radiator has been made totally empty due to the leakage. I think the rubber hose bursted earlier, and because of short journey around Bidor, I was not aware of the rising engine temperature.

Four half-baked "mechanics" including me and my father are responsible for the repair works at a friend's workshop! We laughed all the way while cursing each other because one of the "mechanics" mistakenly fastened a rubber hose in a wrong orientation. Beforehand, he called himself the most competent person there.

Overall 4 rubber hoses of various sizes have been changed. Can you believe all these dried iron sludge clogged one single 130mm run, 12mm diameter rubber hose? I don't believe either.

You can simply press and hear the sound to check whether the rubber hoses in your car are clogged or not. If you can hear cracky or harsh sound from the inside, that means iron sludge has been building up in it for ages.

If you are even too lazy or too hygienic to touch the hoses, just perform a visual inspection. Clogged hoses will "fatten-up" due to excessive water pressure.

If either one of the symptoms occur on your steel baby, bring it to the nearest mechanic. You might not be as lucky as me, escaping astronomical repair bills due to engine overheating. Anyway, the 4 rubber hoses cost me less than rm30, plus RM40 bill of radiator cleaning and service!

***

Great White Shark is the nickname given by Chinese people to Ipoh Specialist Hospital.

All New Honda City 2009

This model is awesome!






Check this out~
http://www.excitementinthecity.com.my/

I Won't Be Posting If I'm Not At UTP

Deafening silence in my room here at UTP prompted me to update my blog. I am yet to submit my hardbound thesis report, and that the reason why I am back here.

I bumped into this while browsing through LYN. I find this piece of essay inspirational in times when my family is battling diabetes together with my grandpa.

" There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone!!

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, whether in splendor or behind a mask of clouds. But it will rise. Until it does we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only one day: today.

Any man can fight the battles of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of two awful eternities - yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down.

It is not necessarily the experience of today that disturbs one's peace of mind. It is often time the bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore live one day at a time."

The specialist doctor and I have made a decision to amputate grandpa's left toe. It has become gangrenous because he is diabetic. If I have one wish now, I wish my grandpa's wound on both of his toe to heal faster. I am desperate to see him getting well soon enough. I want to see a healthy him.

Amputating a toe might sound simple, but the emotional distress caused to the individual is always greater than recuperating the wound itself. Take good care of diabetic old man. Protect them, even from the slightest cut.

**

There's an old man sitting next to me. I have to SHOUT to his ear to get my conversation through. He is holding my hand. He asked mom where am I if he don't see me around for more than 15 minutes. I get him whatever he wanted to eat. I am his watch-guard when he sleeps. At the end of the day, I need Strepsils lozenges for my "cracky" throat. Ahh I have missed Neutrogena mask for my acne due to lack of sleep.

Never mind.

After all, Benjamin Franklin once said, an old man in a house is a good sign.

****

Tagged by Edwin

Okay. This fatty Edwin tagged me few weeks back and only now that I could spare some time to publish this post.

7 Weird Things About Myself

1. When I was still a kid, I love my toys. Yes I love them. I share them with my brothers, but all of them end up broken into pieces, scattered everywhere. I just love to disassemble them into individual components and assemble them again, intending to see them working as they were before. But frankly, all my missions as a kid failed, miserably. I still love to disassemble and reassemble now. (Recent example : Speed Laser Meter.)
   
2. Mom said chickens won't lay eggs if I chase them. Yes, I chased them all around the house compound to test the hypotheses. (My first encounter with the word "hypotheses" was during Standard 5 Science class) But we never ran out of eggs in the kitchen.
3. Dad said there is an alligator inhabiting the lake behind my house. And the alligator came to the lake once upon a time ago when Bidor was flooded. The alligator lost its home and migrated to the pond behind my house. And now, I still do believe an alligator exists in the pond. In fact, I hope that I could see it with my own eyes, one day.
4. Grandpa said there were family of tigers in our family plantation. Whenever I step into the plantation, I will take extra precaution. There was once I wrongly taken the roaring sound of old motorbike engine as tiger roaring. I ran off to the jeep!
5. I love English songs, dated back to half a century ago. While people is listening to the new hits from Hitz.FM and Fly.FM, I was listening to Ray Peterson and Nat King Cole. Relatively, I think I am weird.
   
6. I love girls that are hard-to-handle. It's exciting to handle them well!
   
7. The people that I initially hate became my best friends in the end. I think it's weird.

7 Weird Thing About Edwin

1. I wonder what he ate in this 5 years in UTP, that he could gain weight so fast to become a fatty.
2. I wonder what he did in this 5 years in UTP, that he could maintain his fair complexion.
3. I wonder why his first relationship in UTP lasted for only 2 weeks.
4. I wonder why he like James Bond paraphernalia from Shell gas station so much. He collected all five.
5. I wonder why he will only be active in mIRC, whenever I am around.
6. I wonder why he loves teasing me with my old relationship.
7. I wonder why he is so "sam pat", sometimes.

Tag you lar..

KUMAR

Lalaclubian will remember Kumar, the waiter at our local mamak Restaurant Ameeth at Tronoh. He is currently working in Salim Curry House at my hometown, Bidor. He went back to India for a long holiday and got married to a girl there.

His wife has just delivered their first baby 1 month ago. Unfortunately, his baby who is a boy is having some problems with his spine. I couldn't communicate well with him due to the language barrier, but one thing I am very sure. He loves his baby boy very much.

One customer placed an order for nasi goreng Pataya and a few Maggi goreng, so he gotta get back to work. The conversation stopped short of me giving him some words of support.

Hey I love baby too~

Okay. All of a sudden, I don't feel like writing anymore.

Shall stop here.

Kthanxbai~

p/s : Baby is a gift from God. It is never an accident.

UTP 2004 - 2008

The fact that invigilators for my last final examination are strict doesn't stop me from rejoicing when the clock ticks to 12.00 sharp!

I'm officially a graduate, unemployed and a liability to society. I don't pay any tax, yet I am entitled for subsidized healthcare at any government hospitals and petrol at our nearest ESSO or Shell.

Five long years here really opened up my perspective towards life. I found many friends here, but unfortunately they are all my juniors. I have also found out that there are generally two types of people here; one type is being "people that worth a mere 20 cents" and another type is "true friend".

Whatever it is, I still consider myself lucky enough to have this bunch of "sub-contractor, consultants and general workers" friends.

Good luck to all in your future undertakings. We'll see each other again in construction! 

Quick Update : Bidor

Dry season is back, again! Every year, the dry spell will be made worse by fog and dusts from forest fire in the neighboring country. People fall sick easily. Drink lots of fluid. Take care, everybody! (It's final examination season~)

I took this photo with my lousy hand phone camera nearby Malim Nawar.

Not Bad for A RM500 Purchase, After All

It has been a while since I last updated my blog. Been busy for my final semester in UTP. I can't wait to start a new life in KL!

Passed by Ipoh just now on the way back to Bidor. So I got my youngest brother a new phone, replacing his old Nokia-duno-wat-model that still looks fine. The old phone is having some trouble with the LCD screen. Surprisingly, the technician at the hand phone shop said that the old Nokia works fine on a post-paid SIM card, but not pre-paid SIM card. Anybody having the same problem before? Please share the remedial measure.

Not bad for a RM500 purchase, including 1GB M2 memory card. The sound quality is good, and picture captured by the 2.0MP camera is clear.

Maybe it's time to get myself a new phone too! :)

Cai Shen (God of Prosperity)

Five of us were on the way back from Ipoh hours ago when Kah Ling suddenly blurted out "2305 lagi..mesti strike today!" And we continued talking about lottery and 4-D for about 5 minutes before we stopped at Kg Bali traffic light. Maybe my data collection interupted the conversation, but never mind. 

I took a long shower after Ipoh trip because I am a self-declared germophobic guy. It's time to check my email for today's Pan Malaysia Pool draw result.

And this is what I got..

Though it's not the exact set of numbers (permutation bet can be made FYI), she might be the modern day, female version of Cai Shen!

Hunting For Teluk Intan Chee Cheong Fun

Bidor is just another transitory town for KL dwellers. During the day, Bidor is quite a busy town where the traffic jam can be quite terrible, especially during festive seasons. At night, few would go out and only the Chinese kopitiam will be lively. Mamak? Oh no...I have had enough of mamak food at Tronoh.

Both me and Joanna felt so bored that we decided to travel to Teluk Intan to meet up with our mutual friend there. And we wish to try the famous "Chee Cheong Fun" too. (<==== This is our real motive, actually. Shhhhhhh! )

The famous Teluk Intan Leaning Tower

Thanks to our local Teluk Intan boy, Seang Yik, we had the best Chee Cheong Fun ever. Too bad, no pictures taken as I do not fancy taking pictures of food. I rather help myself with the good food served hot on the table.

However, don't pass the guilty verdict on me for not "tapao" for you. Let's go together next time! Don't worry coz' I know Teluk Intan road quite well.

p/s : Rojak Ah Chai is quite famous too.

Untitled

***

Tonight, it feels just..
Empty.


Be that as it may..
What do I want?

Perhaps a job posting that will bring me thousands of miles away from here.

***

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Selamat Hari Raya to all, especially my old friends from Sekolah Menengah Sains Teluk Intan (Batch 16 : 99-03), my UTP college mate, fellow #camborians, #civilpower, #sipilyahoo and lecturers.

Drive safely!